I know that she doesn't want me to know where she lives or her phone number. I could accept that too if I just knew she wasn't living with some other guy. I have to know that. Its driving me crazy not knowing whether she's in love with someone else, or living with some guy. Does she love me at all? Or not? And her family won't tell me anything at all they think they're protecting Julie by not telling anything. Honestly I'm not going to stalk her. I just need to know the answers to those basic questions. I feel I deserve to know. Its my right to know I've earned that right by giving her 13 years of my life and my love. Honestly I don't think therapy will be very successful with the basic question of "Does she love me" and "Is she in love with someone else" going unanswered. How can I decide my best course of action not knowing that? I've gotten a call from a job out in Michigan that I applied for. I could just call them back and I'd be on my way to Michigan to work and live at home. Doing this of course means I've completely given up on saving my marriage. So I hesitate hoping that something will change. That I will at least hear something. Anything. Do I go? Do I stay and try? How can I try with no communication. And I have my band to think about too. The two busiest months of the year are here now.
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