I am going to the clinic today at 2:45 to get put on some meds hopefully, that will help me cope. I can't get this whole thing off my mind, and I get chest pains and can't breathe from all the anxiety. I learned something new today too. How can one person (me) feel so much pain and grief over a seperation and the other person feel nothing? Its because the one who is happy and in love, goes about life without any notion that there is a problem. The other one, is mending themselves and weening themselves away from you. Then, after a time when they are completely over you and have no feelings left for you at all, they suddenly leave. They're ready, and they go. Its not fair, it sucks, but its life. I guess knowing that will help me start healing. I can stop wishing that Julie will come home, because it will never happen. She doesn't love me, she was completely over me the day she walked out, and it will stay that way. It still hurts alot, but knowing that means I can heal myself.
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