Ugh

   I did it now. :(

Well 2 months ago I met this amazing woman. We went from acquaintance to pretty much the best of friends rather quickly. Thousands of texts, hours of phone calls, sunlit walks, late night talks, I eagerly awaited every word because everything just felt so... right. I adored being around her. I'd never met anyone like her before. But stupid me, I couldn't control my heart. I fell for her. Pretty hard. So stupidly, I told her, then crap got wierd.  We had one amazing weekend on the town together the beginning of april. I mean, it was just fun. So simple. We didn't have to try.  Then the next weekend wasn't so pretty. She went home with someone else and I went nuts about it. :( Which was lame on my part, she wasn't and won't be my girlfriend no matter how much I would have wanted that.    Trouble is , not hearing from her and knowing she probably won't ever be my friend like that again, hurts far worse than being just friends. I've been reduced to mere aquaintance status, if that. I know she needs time to get past what I did,. I just wish I had some big cosmic do-over. I doubt I can erase all the love I have, but I know that I can at least change it.. I've done it before with another great friend that I once fell for, and now we're amazing together.. I can do this again. I just need a chance. I only pray she can forgive me my shortcomings and see that I really am the same person she became friends with, and that we really can still click and have fun. I feel like I have no one to talk to anymore, and I really liked talking to her. She's fascinating. I just want my friend back.

Cling to hope. Hold On Pain Ends.. Hope