Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Emptiness
I wish I could find something to fill this emptiness inside me. I have
my hobbies, I enjoy my Xbox games, I play guitar, for all you about to
jump on the church wagon, yes I have my faith. You see I don't have
holes that those things can fill, because I've always had those things
in my life. So I can't fill my life with more of those things I never
lost. I love my job, I have the best friends in the world, I thank all
of you who have shown me so much support. In all intents and purposes
I'm happy, I have a full life, my finances are fine, I make more than
enough to cover what I need to cover each month... but there's this huge
hole in my heart where once love was, there's nothing now. I've never
had this feeling before, this feeling of contentment, full of love, yet
so utterly heartrendingly alone. I seldom sleep. Some nights I would
trade everything I own just to be able to cling to someone 'til I could
sleep. I hope that the hole doesn't become a scar that feels nothing. :(
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1 comment:
Dan, I feel for you, so much. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
Not to sound trite, but for the physical want to cling to, have you thought about a body pillow or something like that?
I mean, this is obviously in no way a replacement, nor will it fix anything, but maybe it could provide some comfort to help you sleep.
The way you describe the things that make you happy and not being able to fill this hole with those things you already had makes so much sense. <3 If I think of anything actually helpful, I'll let you know.
Know you're in my thoughts and prayers.
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