I need to shut my mouth. Really. Just when there was a glimmer of hope on the horizon for me I erupted in a fountain of venom and spit daggers through the cell phone and most likely erased any hope of Julie ever talking to me again. If only I wasn't so damned hurt. Every time I think the pain starts to subside it returns. 13 years.. You don't erase that hurt with a bandage, baby. No sir. It takes a complete frontal lobotomy. I'd rather have a bottle in front-o-me than a frontal lobotomy. I've been the honest one. But I feel I'm being lied to now. There's more beneath the surface of this that is being kept from me, and if I put my head underwater to see it, life steps on my head until I gasp for air.
You weave your words into a fog, blind on hands and knees I crawl
It's like eating soup with a fork son. You aren't getting much at all
How long will you go hungry before you give up?
Perhaps a nice arsenic cocktail? You enjoyed the last one so much.
Thank you, may I have another?
There's still life left in my veins.
I talk to myself when I'm lonely but if I do it on paper, it's being creative.
If I do it aloud..
You are crazy you know that? 2 mols short of burning out your eyes.
Or maybe they are truly gone, this is just a clever disguise.
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2 comments:
Hate to say this but the longer you let this person control you, the longer it's going to take to move on.
One thing you can be sure of, if she has a lawyer then he's advised her to play it smooth.
Dan,
I miss ya' bud. I know it is hard to realize with the ups and downs of your life as it is, but it will smooth out...one day, you will find yourself easing up a bit on the hurts of your world. I have had you in my prayers and will continue to do so. I got to see Elchorn tonight and we both yakked at missing you~! I hope if you ever get the chance, you can come back to AC and say hi...I sure do miss your humor. You always did make me laugh...Take care bud. TC has some good advice here. Hard to work it at times, but if you can, I would recommend heeding it. You cannot possibly take back a woman that has wronged you so grieviously. Your heart might want it now, but were she to come back, your head would play games with that worse yet...
Love ya'
~DS~
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